What Up Miley Cyrus?

YikesThis whole Miley Cyrus VMA thing has been weighing on my mind. In the few soundbites I’ve heard since, I’ve been disgusted and refused to give her air time. She says the whole incident was a calculated move to get PR. And, honestly, I didn’t want to feed the frenzy. In recent weeks I’ve found myself turning the channel if she’s being interviewed, and I even do a quick station change if her songs are playing on the radio. And, forget about Robin Thicke… (don’t even get me started!)

Miley Cyrus VMA

Seriously, even before the foam finger made its debut on the stage, I was actually sickened by the haircut, long tongue side-lick-thingy, and the image of her bumping and grinding in a mouse get-up with other stuffed animals. It was disturbing on many levels.

Miley and Thicke

Now to be fair to Ms. Cyrus, I have to admit that my kids grew up watching Disney’s Hannah Montana. We even saw her in concert about 4 years ago when she was first “breaking away” from her role as Hannah Montana. She was such a “good girl” and we just expected to continue to be a positive role model. We were kind of counting on her.

Hannah Montana

So, I guess I’ve been in this self-righteous place of judgement over this 20 year old soon-to-be porn star. After all, she kind of owes it to us, doesn’t she? Truth be told, we watched her in 30-60 minute segments for many years, supporting her childhood career… investing in her merchandise (t-shirts, music, wigs)… and the least she could do is pay us back by delivering more of what we want. Straight and narrow. But let’s face it, over time we got bored with her. You can watch a middle-school sweetheart for so long and then it’s time to move on.

What sucks for Miley (and other Hollywood hopefuls) is that she lives in a consumer-driven culture. And, at an early age, she became a product to be consumed by the masses. Oh, our intentions were good, but we kind of ate her alive and spit her out when we were done. Then, when she decided to act like other “Disney” kids and started doing crazy things that we didn’t support, we wondered why this keeps happening. We treat the whole thing like a “Disney Curse.”

And, maybe it is.

Case in point: Amanda Bynes, Justin Bieber, Macaulay Culkin, Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears, Michael Jackson (not all these were “Disney” kids, but they kind of fit the mold in our judgmental minds when referring to child stars who grow up to be unstable adults).

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So anyway, my hubby and I met some friends for dinner the other night. Somehow we got on the topic of the VMA’s and how disgusted we were… our friends mentioned that Miley was going to be hosting Saturday Night Live. And, we bit. I don’t know why, but curiosity got the best of us and after tucking the kids in we tuned in to SNL.

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Just as we expected, the skits were raunchy. She looked too skinny, too rebellious, too marked up with tattoos… a real disappointment. Within a few minutes my hubby was snoring. Meanwhile I was glued to the t.v. invested in seeing Miley through to the end. Hate to admit it, but… I was thirsty to see her top the VMA debacle.

Then, it was time for her to be the featured musical guest.

Honestly, she was amazing. Granted, it took me a few verses to get past the see-through shirt. But when I took time to really listen and watch, I experienced real talent. And, a passion for delivering excellence. Chills and bumps took over my body as she put it all on the field and held nothing back. As I watched her finish her first song, and later deliver her second, I was blown away by the passion in this young girl’s voice. With power she transported me past her father’s mullet, past the VMA twerking, beyond the tattoos, and to a place of peace. What she shared was an intimate peek at a young woman who is simply trying to find her way in the world…

My God, I have a 14 and 11 year old… and the world can be a difficult place to navigate – even when you don’t live in a fishbowl of fame.

We are consumers. We want our entertainment and we take, watch, judge and feed on the frenzy. How can any child, any teenager, or even a 20 year old be prepared to cope with fame? Easy for us to judge as we quarterback from the privacy of our living rooms.

I guess I’m now in a place of reflection over Miley Cyrus. She reminded me that at the end of the day, it’s me – not her, that must raise my kids. She reminded me that there are children out there who need role models and perhaps it’s time to get off my judgmental soap box and seek ways to invest in the wider community. There are tons of opportunities… Food banks, homeless shelters, inner-city schools, boys/girls clubs, youth organizations, etc. What would the world be like if we traded our judgement in exchange for solid action?

I don’t have all the answers. Hell, I don’t even have half the answers. In fact, the more I take time to listen to the Universe and really *see* with open eyes, the more questions that surface.

For today, Miley is a reminder that we are all human. We make mistakes. In spite of our humanity, we are richly blessed with amazing gifts and talents that surprise ourselves and others. There are moments of clarity where we can put it all on field, leaving nothing behind. With just a little of that each day, we can change the world.

Would anyone like to join me as I attempt to get off my judgmental soap-box and offer up peace and love through action with youth in our community.

How can we judge a little less and share love and peace a little more?


© 2013, The Musing Maven, all rights reserved.


  1. Your last sentence says it all Sandi: How can we judge a little less and share love and peace a little more? Something for us all to think about and strive for.


    1. Marilee, do you realize you’ve been a mentor for me since I was about Miley’s age? Time flies. Having good people in your court makes a world of difference. Speaking of which… sign me up for the next Junior Achievement day that BMA is helping to sponsor. 🙂


  2. One of your best – I see why you got up to write this – you were inspired and your words both inspired me and made me reflect! Great job sweetie!


  3. I really like how you thought this through. Like you guys, I was thoroughly disturbed by the VMA performance. Like Justin Beiber, I thought, here we go again, with another young artist meltdown.. I, too, refused to watch anything related to her, but we watched SNL as well and while I won’t watch it again, and nothing particularly excited me about the episode, it wasn’t as awful as I expected… I think the 2nd song was well done and I enjoyed it… So, perhaps, through music, she can find her way….


  4. My kids too watched Miley grow up and they are quick to stand at her defense as she is “just doing what she is told to get PR”. While I don’t like that comment, as she has more than enough right to say what she wants out there, I cant judge her for her decisions either. I wont buy her music based on her behavior, I buy music because it sounds good, and I agree with you, it is very good. Classic Miley, with grown-up lyrics. Im not going to join her fan club, and lets hope she turns out like Drew Barrymore, who was able to climb out of the childhood and into an adult career!


    1. It would be interesting to see if we could name 10 now-adult childhood stars who have reaped the rewards of “healthy” fame… Drew would certainly be on that list. Ron Howard… hmmm… who else?


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