Life As We DON’T Know It

I heard the funniest comedian on the radio recently… Of course, his name escapes me, but I literally found myself laughing out loud while driving alone in broad daylight.

Laugh out loud

The skit went something like this…
[East coast male voice…]

“Do you ever wonder what life would be like without the institute of marriage? I mean, let’s face it, it’s big business. In a world where more than 50% of marriages end in divorce, is there another way? And, I have to ask myself where it all started.

If there was no marriage, here’s what an innovator might do:

[Remember while you read that it’s a male comedian w/ east coast accent the whole time… he’s telling what the conversation might be like]

MAN: Hey, we’ve been hanging out a lot and I like it.

WOMAN: Yeah, me too.
MAN: So, I think I wanna go out on a limb and ask you if we can do this thing for the rest of our lives. You know, until we die.


MAN: Come here. Put this on.

WOMAN:  Why?

MAN: Because I want you to wear a long white sheet that costs as much as a used car.

WOMAN: Who’s that?
MAN: It’s a priest.

WOMAN: Why is he here?

MAN: He’s gonna witness this agreement you are making… that you agree to stay with me until we’re dead.  Here, take this.

WOMAN: What is it?

MAN: It’s a gold ring. I want you to wear it so that everyone who sees it will know that you made a binding agreement and will stick with me until you die.

WOMAN: Why are we doing this?

MAN: It’s good for our taxes.

WOMAN: Okay?  So, what’s that?

MAN: It’s a cake. With plastic dolls… that look like us… Wanna taste it?

Anyway, the skit went on for a while longer. What I enjoyed most was how this comedian challenged his audience to consider, if even for a moment, some of the traditions that our culture blindly participates in. So much of our everyday life is simply out of habit… What would life be like if we weren’t on auto pilot checking things off our proverbial to-do lists?
Pink Panther
While I’m on the topic…The Book of Mormon came to Denver last month and I had the awesome pleasure of attending one of the sold-out shows. On the surface, the message is an over-the-top judgement on the Mormon faith. However, if you look past the foul language and 2 foot foam phallic symbols (not to mention a Mormon elder doing unconventional things to Hitler during his visit to hell…) Anyway, if you look past all the pomp and circumstance, what you have is the story of humanity…

We are all trying to make sense out of this thing called life. Danger seems to lurk in the places where we stop asking questions…

Don't Ask Questions
Side Note: Just to clarify… I fully embrace marriage – after 21 years toting around the ball and chain, I feel entitled to enjoy a good chuckle at the expense of an age-old tradition…

So, Thanksgiving is this week. For many generations now, our people have celebrated by gorging on turkey, potatoes, corn casserole, rolls and pumpkin pie (of course, somewhere in the 60’s green bean casserole worked its way on to our dining room tables).

I’m feeling all mushy and thankful inside.

Pass the yams, please!


© 2013, The Musing Maven, all rights reserved.


  1. Funny, you should mention that marriage is a “big business”. My fiancé informed me today that there is a bill that requires all couple intending on marrying to go to a pre-marital class. Whose bright idea was that? Let me guess…. someone trying to make a buck off couples getting married. Yes, I have been through several pre-marital classes, and while they were extremely helpful to a young bride, the last thing I think we need to be worried about in today’s congressional seats, is whether you understand what getting married is all about. I hate to inform these people, but regardless of the classes, well-informed people still divorce. Not to mention the people, as described above in your comedian’s journal….we know they are out there….won’t take anything they are given in these pre-martial classes to heart, especially if they are required to! (I think you know what I mean, given your background!)


    1. Audra – True! True. Thanks for your comments… good stuff!

      The best advice we received from our “pre marriage counseling” was:

      1. figure out if your spouse is a morning person or a night person. Then, avoid big topics and fights that correspond with their “off” times. Meaning: I’m a morning person, my hubby is a night person. It’s best if I don’t approach him about a big decision or important matter at 7 a.m. Otherwise, I’m likely to get my toes stepped on.

      2. In the midst of a disagreement, try to reach out and touch in some way. Hold a hand. Pat a leg… the act of physical connection can help bridge the gap. It’s not easy during a heated debate to embrace this concept… However, I’ve found it does help us connect in some meaningful way.

      Obviously, mandating people to take a class isn’t likely to improve the divorce rate. In our case, we were young and the church required the class… I guess I figured since I was there, I might as well try to find a couple tid-bits to hold on to through the years.


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